1. It’s a Boy! It’s a Boy! No Memaw, It’s Not.
2. A Little Life Almost Ended Before It Even Began
3. Preteen Drama (The Acting Kind)

4. A Party In a Place Called Hell

5. The Talk... xs 10
6. Trouble And Despair Ended With a Pen

7. There Were Fireworks...Well Sort Of

8. Bones Are Supposed To Stay In Your Body, Right?
9. Tic, Tic, Tic...
10. You Play Bass..? But You’re a Chick?

11. Not The Ordinary First Job.</3

4. A Party in a Place Called Hell
external image image266324g.jpgWhen I was thirteen I really looked up to my cousin. She frankly was the worst possible role model, and I had to fight so hard for her acceptance. But like everything else you have to fight for when it isn’t just handed to you, it felt good to have it. I always wanted to spend time with her but she was constantly busy, so when she finally asked me to join her for a girl’s night, I begged my parents to let me go with her. At the time I didn’t really understand why they fought so hard against it; now I wish I would have let them win.

It was a mid-summer night after my seventh grade year. Given that it was a girl’s night I got the opportunity to doll myself up then she came and got me. Her mother was taking care of a young boy that was living in a very bad household. She decided that she wanted to go get him so he could join us, so we had to go to Bellevue to pick him up. When we got there he had vanished. We went searching for him and eventually found him, but we missed our movie time. The next time it was showing was a lot later so we decided to stay at his home which even terrified him. The reason we stayed was because it was his older brother’s birthday and her ex-boyfriend that she wasn’t over yet was there.

I walked into a cloud of smoke and was met by a horrifying odor. When I could finally see I understood where it came from. The people there were a good deal older than me and were sitting in the living room drinking, smoking pot, and even shooting heroin. Back then I didn’t know what any of it was. When I got older and was brave enough to finally tell someone, they informed me of the purpose for those funny looking cigarettes and needles.

I just froze. I was a deer in the headlights. When she asked me if I was ok there I should have said no. I should have screamed at the top of my lungs, demanded that she took me home that second. I didn’t. I couldn’t speak up. All I could bring myself to do was lock myself in the bathroom and hide in the bathtub. I didn’t know then that there were two doors to that bathroom: the one in front of me that I locked, and the one to my left that I didn’t. I remember every inch of that disgusting bathroom, and every second I spent in there, in hell.

I wasn’t alone in that bathroom for long. What happened in there I can’t bring myself to even speak of, but I can say that it changed me more than anything else could have. I spent most of the next few years trying like hell to forget it, but every once in a while he comes back to me in the form of a nightmare. I go through every day pretending it never happened; pretending I made her take me home, pretending I let my parents win. I left that night as a pure and beautiful little girl and left something dark, stained, and broken. I trusted her then, and that’s a mistake, I promise you, I never made again.


7. There Were Fireworks...Well Sort Of external image 3305770788_2c2cb17a8b.jpg

So I had a boyfriend before him, but the first kiss thing just didn’t happen in the six days we were together. I was on boyfriend number two and it was our second date. He had just turned fifteen and my sixteenth birthday was only eleven days before. Yes, I do like younger men. Deal with it. I remember it just like it was yesterday and I’m sure I’ll never forget. He may be a far cry from intelligent, but that day he was my Romeo.

Even though I was sixteen, I wouldn’t be getting my license until three days after my SEVENTEENTH birthday. Needless to say, my mom had to drive me all the way to Brimfield for my boyfriend’s birthday bash. His name is Corey and at the time he was the sweetest, most charming guy I ever met. Boy, do things change. I labored all day to make myself beautiful because I had a feeling about what was going to happen that evening.

When I got to his house, there was another couple sitting on his brother’s bed in the room that they share; and the young man that would be my next boyfriend, his cousin. Within the next hour or so more and more people trickled in and out, and the sun was low but quite not ready to set. With nothing better to do, our group decided to take a short stroll over to the park.

As we walked his arm slipped across my back and onto my waist, it felt like my whole body tingled with warmth from being so close to him. I was exactly where I wanted to be. Before the park there was an old ramshackled baseball field we chose to continue our mischief. After all, what is a teen boy’s birthday without bottle rockets? Now this may not have been extremely smart, but we broke off all the sticks, lit them up, and chucked them either into the atmosphere or at each other. Let me just say now that no one was really harmed from the flames, only finger tips and one shoe perished.

Survey Says...

1. Is your room/house clean?

My house isn’t even close to clean. It’s basically the anti-clean. None of us really have time so it’s not really the Brown house, but more the Brown tornado recakage.

2. What kind of vehicle do you drive (or if you don’t have a vehicle what kind do you wish you drove)?

I drive the world’s most frustrating car. She hates me I swear. She is a ’95 Buick Le Saber. Why is she a she? Because she is like my mom during her worst menopausal rants. (I love you mommy) Horrible gas mileage, a tire that won’t stop leaking, a battery that loses charge without things being left on, and demonic windshield. That’s her. Questions to choose from:

3. What’s your biggest flaw?

I have horrific anxiety. I don’t worry about everything, but when I am worried its always an extreme. It’s mostly paranoia honestly, and never really being accepted.

4. When the phone rings who do you want it to be?

My boyfriend, Michael. Whenever we talk I become this goofy giddy giggly girl and its kind of ridiculous. I hate that he has that power over me but what can I do?

5. If abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive? Explain.

I think so. I don’t look like much but I’m pretty crafty. I have all the skills and all the knowledge, it’s just left to my ability to use them and stop freaking out that I’m unsure of.

6. I can’t live without ___.

Music. I know I always talk about it but music is the best thing ever. It controls my mood and way of thinking. I can’t: write, read, study, work, or even drive without it without risk of becoming horribly distracted. I’m kind of an addict.

7. You’re on death row and you get to choose your last meal. Describe your choice.

Grilled skinless chicken breasts, Velveeta Mac and cheese, a load backed potato, and a culvers brownie concrete mixer. It’s not much of anything special but they are my favorites. It’s the food that makes me feel at home.

8. Describe your favorite toy or game you played as a kid.

I loved Barbies. I don’t know what it is about them, but it was my way of making my life go exactly how I wanted it too. I was pretty, skinny, and all the boys liked me when I was holding her. What more would a girl want?

9. Do you believe that everyone deserves a second chance? Why or why not?

Not unless they really work for it. If it comes easy they will do it again and I’m just going to end up getting hurt in the end. Here is a place for one of my favorite quotes from a show called Grounded for Life “Fool me once shame on you, fool me once and you’re a jerk!”

10. How do you feel right now?

I’m really tired and very warm. Chemistry for some reason just puts me to sleep every time. My back hurts from lifting yesterday, but I’ll live.


Name: Jasmina Troske. Mina and JT
Bio: She us not exactly what you’d call normal and was definitely born in the wrong time period. 2002 is where she belongs. She doesn’t really care about school. She is beyond creative but her common sense is lacking greatly. She is so smart but doesn’t really care to use it.
Age: 17
Height: 5’2
Weight: 112
Body type: Is twig a body type?
Face type: Her face is oval shaped; long and lean like the rest of her body.
Complexion: She has a light olive skin tone and is covered in light freckles from head to toe.
Eyes: Light jade. When you look in her eyes you don’t see a hint of worry or stress; just bliss.
Hair: Dark auburn. She claims she’s a redhead but the dark tones mixed in her hair prevent others from believing her. Her hair so wavy it’s almost considered curly.
Clothing style: Florals, Flannels, cut off blue jeans, and peasant skirts over fill her closet.
Speaking style: She uses words the most people don’t really understand, but her voice is so soft and casual that her words fit together like poetry.
General Demeanor: She is very easy going and everybody that gets to know her loves her except the group of people that will never understand her or her vision.
Career: Currently she is a student at a very large high school in CA.
Prejudices: This is going to sound horribly ironic but she hates people that hate people. Racist and fascist people to her are not people at all.
Best Qualities: She is loving, creative, and is always the life of the party.
Worst Qualities: She has little common sense and is too trusting.
Weaknesses: She doesn’t take anything seriously; it’s all fun and games to her.
Hobbies: She can take a blank canvass and make art appear.
Talents: The pen in her hand is mightier than any sword and when she sings; you listen.